Couldn't Live up to My Name...(if you have a weak tummy..don't read!)

Its funny now, but it was far from funny on Monday...

Monday, I did not display that supahwoman trait that I usually have on lock.

Since my mom has been home, my dad has to assist her in changing her bandages, replacing soiled gauze and so forth....

Well...this particular day...mom asked dad, can you help me change this before you go to the store. Of course dad "forgot!" So...I am checkin my mom out, and I can see it was becoming uncomfortable for her. She is changing these dressings a few times a day due to blood still coming from the holes where the 4 drains were...yes 4 drains! So anyhow...my mom also was kinda getting hungry. So Im like, hmm...what do I do!? I know I can offer to fix her somethin...thats EASY PEASY...BUT to offer to change her dressings...hmmm....

Being the good daughter I am...I asked her what she wanted to eat, she wanted a sandwich...hooked that up for her...NO PROBLEM! So...here's the conversation:

Me: Mom do you want me to help you with your dressings?

Mom: No, I can wait till dad gets back...(knowing how slow my dad moves...I proceed with...)

Me: Well mom, I see you are getting uncomfortable, let me help you...

Mom: No, I can wait...it looks really ugly...

Me: Oh mom! Come on now! Its not like Im gonna get all freaked out! Im your daughter, you are my flesh! I can help you!

Mom:....(with hesitance...she says), Ok...if you want to

Me: Come on mom..lets do this...

So we are in the bathroom in front of her HUGE mirror...racked up all the supplies needed to accomplish this mission! I knew I could do this! So here we go... She starts to give me detailed instructions and to proceed with caution....I do so.

(For those who don't know yet...she had a double mastectomy after chemotherapy AND radiation)...

I gently take her shirt off...then, Im looking at this special bra that is super tight, and also applies pressure to the chest...so, I began to remove the bra...and it immediately releases the pressure that was once there. All of the sudden...blood is dripping from the right side...we proceed....as I gulp. Im thinking, Oh Lawd...is my mom like losing too much blood!? Cuz, its steady rollin, no dripping...ROLLING down.

Okay...so I get ready to remove the bandages from the left.............................................................she warns me.......................................................Lawd............................this was the side she had the radiation that completely burned my mom...I mean burned! So...the site was NOT pretty.

My mom continues to give me instruction, and as I peel away more layers of the dressings, I get HOTTER and HOTTER and HOTTER...Im beginning to get dizzy....

I began to really start freaking out, because this was a situation that could NOT be rushed in anyway. OMG...how am I going to just stand up here like Im okay! OMG IM GONNA PASS OUT ON MY MOM!!!! TRICIA!!! Snap the hell out of it, get it together and put on your big girl panties!!! Little did I know my mom was watching my reactions in this HUGE mirror we were in front of and Im assuming I was looking faint.

After a few more minutes...

.....Nalla (my dog is barking viciously at someone she sees through the front door)...I ignore the hell out of her barking...Hell NALLA I need to concentrate right now! Please STFU!!! LOL!

Mom: Umm...you wanna see what Nalla is barking at?

Me: No! She's fine...

Mom:...silence....

Me: MOM....I AM SO SORRY BUT I THINK I NEED SOME FRESH AIR RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Mom: Its okay darlin, go get some fresh air, I can finish it...

Me: OKAY! Mom, I AM SO SORRY...I will be right back!....

As I am running down the hall, (cause I thought I had to vomit or somethin)...my dad walks in the back door with groceries!!!

Me: OMG! THANK GOD you are back! (me grabbing groceries from his hand)...PLEASE go assist your wife! I was attempting to help and I almost passed out right now...

Dad: (chuckles)

So there I went...laid out on my back...on the couch...right up underneath the ceiling fan...

Yeah...I had to hang my cape up that day...Supahwoman was NOT in the building!

I just really felt horrible, cause I couldn't complete the job!

I just NEVER saw flesh...raw tissue like that...EVER. Maybe on TV but not in real life. It got me too...cause it was my mama yall!!! My poor mama, has been through so much! And she HAS to look at it each day. =( So I continue to apologize, but she truly thinks it was funny..Im glad she can laugh it off....

Man...that was an experience...