Today my back was killin me from my lovely cramps...just love them. So yeah wasn't in the best of moods today.
The pressures of being a single mommy really kinda got to me today..."X" out NOW if you don't want to hear me vent, because that's what I am about to do.
Reality hits me at different days of the week, different times of the hours, different weeks of the year etc. I didn't know I was going to have such an emotional evening...but reality is, I did.
Sometimes yall...it gets to me being supawoman AKA supamommy...BUT I realize at the same time, that there is no other way. It is what it is. Me any my best friend were talkin today and we were talkin about how tired each of us were, and considered havin a glass of wine to help her sleep better, and she suggested that I just call it a night when I get home. Well...I reminded her...not to feasible with a toddler. Once I leave my 10 hour daytime job, I come home to another full time job and that's being mommy.
After I got off, not only was it cold as hell outside, it was super duper windy...had to fight the strong winds, stop at the post office, and stop at the store so that I can provide dinner for my little one. Then lets not forget to pick her up from Grandmas. I try not to get too comfortable at moms house, cause its easy to do. Its like my second home, but you know there are just times that I kinda just want to get home.
Soon as I walk through the door, I get dinner started, I probably didn't even sit down until an hour and a half later...so I'm starting to get emotionally wound up cause a sista is really tired and still not feelin too hot..at all.
I got emotional because I have this 3 year old who is bursting with energy, still lovin all her Christmas gifts and wants to play with all her games and toys. I found myself snapping at her for no apparent reason. I feel bad, because everything I am goin through is not her fault, far from it. So it saddens me. As the night goes on, I find myself goin round and round in circles, making double work for myself, dropping stupid stuff, making unnecessary messes in the kitchen, etc. Then I suddenly realized I was having a slight breakdown. Not to mention....her dad is in the middle of my frustration as I may find myself back in court. I don't have time for all of this, I really don't but I will do what I need to do.
A dear friend of mine, checked on me which allowed me a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes I just gotta get it out...most of the time is not cool, cuz Bre don't like seeing her mommy down.
After a nice long hot shower and a calming down, me and Bre had a photo shoot.
These are the reasons I continue to walk with my head high...she is my reason for living....she makes me smile, I lover her so much.
This past weekend, Bre and Grandma made crafts..most parents out there with little ones know who Moose A. Moose and Zee are. Well here are a few pics of the project below:
These are actually "pillows" made out of felt. She is SOOO proud!!! And mommy is too!
Had to get this pic below so you can see a better pic of the dress..lol...one of her many costumes that came in a Treasure Chest from her grandparents...
Here is a picture of the collection she made...she also made a heart especially for mommy! Love it! Love! Love! Love!